Washburn's Top 5 of the Day

The Top 5 Muppets in this Humble Blogger's Opinion Which is of No Consequence At All:

5) Gonzo - OK... I think a lot of people would have Kermit as their number one, but if not, they might have Gonzo... well, not me. Gonzo is #5 for me. Personally, I like weird things, but Gonzo might just be too weird. First off, what is his purpose??? Is he a super-hero? A dare-devil? He is always getting shot out of cannons and stuff... I don't know, but it must of had some serious psychological effects, because Gonzo is a nut job. The reason he made my list though, is because he makes me laugh SO much! The guy is hilarious. Plus... that Nose! Gonzo has one of the most recognizable noses of all time. How can you forget that nose!? Unique, definitely. Hilarious, obviously. Gonzo, here's to you for making my list.

4) Beaker - This guy cracks me up. There isn't anything really specail about him, and really, I feel kind of bad for him most of the time. Beaker was Dr. Bunsen's unfortunate, illiterate, test-dumby. All of the failed experiments that back-fired fell on the sore shoulders of Beaker. Beaker was also slightly deformed, having a....well...beaker shaped head. What cracked me up so much was the way he talked... It really can't be described. But it is hilarious. Beaker, if you were real and didn't just exisit in the world of Muppets, I would so be your friend. Plus, you should totally stand up for yourself and not let that nut-job mad scientist Bunsen make you drink weird concoctions, or hook you up to some high-voltage electro magnetic machine... tell him to use poor, unsuspecting, cute animals instead.

3) Kermit the Frog - Henson's most famous character is the green guy that everyone knows and loves. Kermit has everything you could want in te perfect Muppet. So why #3? Kermit comes in at #3 for me because I think he lacks something that my #2 and #1 muppets have... BALLS. So, to Kermitt: Kermit, I like you so much, you are witty, and you are kind to your friends, and you have a funny voice, but you have no balls, man! You let that ho, Miss Piggy abuse you and yell at you and embaress you in front of your male friends. She is too manipulative, you have GOT to realize that. Your awesomeness can only be balanced so much by this flaw that makes me want to punch you. This is why you are in the middle of the pack, my friend. If only you could be more like Fozzie, he gets embarressed but has the balls to deal with it. Why you let Miss Piggy ruin you like that is beyond me... plus, it is obvious that you don't love her, I mean, why else has she remained MISS Piggy. She never became Mrs. Frog. Get with it man, you could do so much better.

2) Fozzie Bear - Although this lovable teddy was truly a stand-up comic failure, he never gave up trying to be the funny guy that deep-down, he knew he was. I think I used to laugh at Fozzie's stupid jokes, mostly because everyone else made fun of him and threw trash (or as they say in England, rubbish) at him. But now, I see that maybe all that hazing and ridicule had an emotionally damaging effect on poor Fozzie. He tried to tough it out and act like the "haters" didn't faze him, but no one can withstand that much rejection and truly be happy. The one character who always did have Fozzie's back was Kermitt. Fozzie really was like the green guy's #2 on the show. So, why not have him as my #2 as well. Fozzie, keep on makin em laugh!

...and the number 1 Muppet is...

1) Animal - "Why?" you may ask... well, duh. Because he, like so many of the greats in this world, is a drummer. Not just any drummer, either. He is probably the most furiously frenzied drummer I have ever seen!? He might even put Keith Moon to shame with the amounts of energy and pure craziness he displays behind the kit. Animal is the drummer for the Muppet rock band called Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Pretty sweet band name, if you ask me. Animal had the the coolest way of dealing with problems... his classic line, "No, NO! Animal beat drums! BEAT DRUMS!!!!" Simple and yet, elegant. I think Animal speaks for all drummers. He is a beast, hence the perfect name... Animal. He is so metal... seriously, check out the heavy metal chain hanging from his neck... I'm not totally sure, but Animal may have been the example from which all those glam rock hair bands of the 80's based their image. Seriously... he looks like he has used quite a bit of Aqua Net on that mane of his...