It's about damn time...

Papi hit a home run!!! FINALLY!!!!!

FWA Player of the Year goes to...

Steven Gerrard!!!

The Football Writers' Association has awarded number 8 with this prestigious award. I can't think of anyone more deserving, either. This is Gerrard's second FWA award. Now, let's just hope that the Reds win their last 2 games of the season, and that Man. U. loses theirs, so that Liverpool can ascend to the top of the EPL and win the cup. Knock on wood.

Washburn's Top 5 of the Day

The Top 5 James Bond Villains (from the films, not the books, as I have not read all the books and would not be able to pass suitable judgement)

5) Francisco Scaramanga (from The Man With The Golden Gun) - The first villain I would like to discuss is the one played by Christopher Lee. Lee is probably one of the most famous actors to play genuinely evil dudes, and he pulls off Scaramanga falwlessly. Being the man with the golden gun means that he is supposedly the best (and most expensive) assassin for hire in the world. The theme song tells us a million a shot... not a bad way to make a living. The other reason I think he is a great villain is because, unlike other Bond foes, he actually looks upon Bond as an equal, as someone he actually WANTS to face because it will be a challange. Plus, Scaramanga lives on his own private island, a lush paradise in the south pacific where he also has a crazy solar powered ray gun/cannon thing. He also employs maybe the coolest henchmen in all the bond series, Nick Nack. And to top it all off... Scaramanga has three nipples!!!! Wow!!!

4) Hugo Drax (from Moonraker) - Hugo Drax is selected for two reasons. 1) I love his crazy far-out plan (mostly because it involves extremely hot chicks), and 2) because he has a kick-ass name. Hugo Drax's plan is probably one of the most far-fetched plans...and that is why I love it! Drax's plan is to wipe out the entirety of Earth's population and restart the human civilization ON THE MOON!!! Haha, but better yet... he is going to populate the moon by enslaving many hot and beautiful women, specifically selected for their looks and perfect figures, using them to satisfy his sexual desires and create a race of beautiful people. Crazy, I know... but genius, if you ask me. All in all, however, Moonraker is probably one of the worst Bond movies, only because it pushes the envelope a little too far. The only one that is worse is probably Die Another Day. That one is just gay.

3) Karl Stromberg (from The Spy Who Loved Me) - This one is a little weird. I picked Stromberg strictly for how whacky and crazy his world domination scheme was. Very similar to Hugo Drax, Stromberg had this master plan to destroy all life on Earth, only to build a futuristic new civilization in which he would be the ruler.... under the ocean. No lie, an entire civilization under water. Stromeberg probably, more so than most Bond villains, has the coolest secret lair of evil. Stromberg's lair is a massive, multi-pod shaped sealab with one of the coolest aquariums! And of course, man eating sharks. Stromberg also has a gigantic ship that opens up and literally swallows an entire nuclear sub full of American naval officers... and a few nuclear warheads, duh. Isn't that what every evil genius is after!? Hahaha...

2) Emilio Largo (from Thunderball) - I choose Largo as number 2, because he was considered to be the number 2 operative for the evil terrorist organization with seemingly endless funds, SPECTRE. The Largo character has technically appeared in two films (the re-make, Never Say Never Again). He is ruthless and is totally loyal to his superior at SPECTRE. It is his plan to attain stolen nuclear warheads to extort money from Great Britain. Not only that, but he keeps his hot mistress, Domino, held prisoner on his sweet-ass yacht. He is strangely obsessed with her and even has a hidden room in which he spys on her through a window disguised as a mirror while she dances and works out in the dance studio on board the yacht. All the while, the dude fashions a classic pirate-esque eye patch. Creeeeepy. Of course, Bond wins her over and she ends up shooting Largo in the back with a harpoon gun. Excellent!

and the number ONE James Bond Villain...

1) This one is a no brainer... Ernst Stavro Blofeld, the master mind behind S.P.E.C.T.R.E. and the obvious choice for number one, as he WAS number one. He is the most iconic villain in the 007 franchise and probably the biggest megalomaniac of them all. His image is unforgettable. No one can forget his pet cat or his unidentifiable eastern European accent. He has never been played by the same actor twice. His objectives and schemes were, above all others, far fetched and elaborate. He is so iconic, that Austin Power's Dr. Evil villain is modeled after him (in other words, Blofeld's actions have become the cliches for every super-villain to appear after). He has been the primary Bond villain in the most movies. For example, where as most Bond villains have only one (two at most) films in which they appear as a protagonist, Blofeld has a role in 6 Bond films (From Russia With Love, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Diamonds Are Forever, and a brief encounter, in which Bond eventually uses a helicopter to drop Blofeld down a factory smoke stack, in For Your Eyes Only). Technically, he has been in 7 films if you count the non-EON pictures film Never Say Never Again (which is technically just a re-make of Thunderball). So what was Blofeld's most evil plan??? Probably the plan revealed in Diamonds Are Forever, where he plans to hold the world for ransom and threaten the use of his death ray gun (positioned in outer space, of course) that is capable of destroying any target, anywhere on Earth. The detonator for such a device is disguised as an audio cassette tape of Scotland fife and drum classics (duh! Of course!) Another crazy stunt is how, according to Bond (in OHMSS), Blofeld cut his own ear lobes off so that he could wrongfully acquire the Blofeld family fortune because everyone knows that the Blofelds don't have ear lobes! (weird and just plain evil). To top it off, Blofeld's goons are supposedly responsible for the murder of Bond's wife, Tracy. So here's to you, Number One. SPECTRE rocks!

Manny... Where for art thou, Manny???

Oh, yeah... that's right, you're suspended.

This may sound naive and ignorant, but I was actually holding out and hoping that all players so close to my team (the Red Sox), and especially someone who was treasured (like Manny) as a key member of the two most recent World Series Red Sox teams had played it clean. I guess there is no way of knowing (right now) for sure how deep and how long he has played using enhancement drugs, but it is definitely on my mind, as I am sure on the mind of other Red Sox fans. It is embarrassing. Now it calls into questions some of the other hitters who posted big numbers in Boston... Papi??? Maybe it's not a coincidence that he is in a huge home run slump... could it be that when he was nailing all those homers in the past that he was enhanced... somehow??? I hope not. God, I really hope not. But, I have to wonder...


So what is for the future??? When A-Rod returns shortly, what are going to be expectations? What kind of reception will Manny get when he returns after his 50 day suspension??? Is he still a first ballot candidate for Cooperstown??? This is a guy that, while he was in Boston, I used to love watch hit. Now, when I see him hit, it will be with disparity. Can any of these players be trusted??? Baseball heroes are falling, hero after hero... For me, two guys I had always had revered with awe (Manny Ramirez and Roger Clemens, before his days in NY) have broken my heart and have made me question the legitimacy of all MLB superstars.

Thanks, guys.

Washburn's Top 5 of the Day

The Top 5 Favorite Holden Caulfield Quotes

5) "I'm the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life." <--- this one reminds me of my dad...

4) "All mothers are slightly insane."

3) "All morons hate it when you call them a moron."

2) "I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy."

...and the number 1 favorite quote...

1) "I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody."

Remember me????

Hi, sorry it has been awhile. Life has kind of been a little frantic as of late, especially with the wedding inching closer and closer each day. Not only that, I just feel I haven't had anything too terribly funny or important to say... although, every time I do think of something to blog about, I either don't have the time, or when I do have the time, I get tired and forget. Anyway... about the wedding...

Some crazy crap has been going on as of late. For one, thanks to the f'n Swine Flu or the H1N1 virus or whatever it is, our honeymoon plans are currently on the rocks. The sad thing is, we have already paid for everything (well, my credit card has paid for everything), and that includes the plane tickets, ugh. SOOOooo, I have been advised not to change my mind yet, as the situation does seem to be leveling off a bit in Mexico, and elsewhere in the world, but to instead start researching some other possible locations that I could transfer the funds to. We have looked at a few places in Punta Cana, but we had really had our hopes up for Mexico.

The other wedding news, invitations and gift registry cards have gone out and we are currently getting RSVPs back. You know what I don't get... when people get the invitations, why do they feel they need to bring people along with them that were NOT invited?!?! I don't get it. It is one thing if you at least ask first before just adding someone to the invitation, but when you just blatently put 4 or 5 down as attending, when the invitation was only for 2... I mean... what the hell?!? So, we are dealing with that mess too... I am afraid we invited too many. We shall see...

Good news... Red Sox beat the Yankees last night. I stayed up and watched the rain-delayed game until Damon and Teixera both hit back to back homers... that kind of left a rotten taste in my mouth and I turned it off. You think I would have been happy about that, seeing as they are both on my fantasy team, but I was more disgusted than anything. I was glad to see the outcome this morning though.

Washburn's Top 5 of the Day

Washburn's Top 5 of the Day presents: The Top 5 Teams That I Love to HATE!!!

5) The Boston Bruins (NHL)- I hate this team for a few reasons, but mostly because they are considered strong rivals to my beloved Montreal Canadiens. I am also totally hating the fact that for the past "X" amount of years, the Bruins have been utterly abismal and now, out of no where, they are cleaning up in the east. Also, one time, when I was in drum corps, the line I was marching in decided to make the section hat be a black Bruins hat, only because of the B on it (which for our purposes stood for Buccaneers). Its ok, I mean I am not bitter or anything. I sucked it up. I didn't whine like a little bitch... but come on... it was AGONY.

4) The Dallas Cowboys (NFL) - Oh my God, do I ever hate the f'n Cowboys. And I'll tell ya what, it really, honestly is for only one reason. I hate the fact that there is ALWAYS so much damn controversy encircling the team, its coaches, its owner, and whatever else, that they are always being mentioned on Sports Center for this or that.... ugh. It gets old. Half the players on the team are convicted criminals, the other half have bloated egos, and the quarterback is a tart. The owner is out of his mind, constantly feels the need to intervine with the coaching of the players, and the rich sonofabitch seems to get worse each year. The locker room is full of too many celebrities and not enough HONEST ball players. Even the goddamn cheerleaders have to be celebrities for the cowboys (having their own TV show, like anyone gives a shit). PLUS, Jen likes them, so I can hate them more and we can have a rivalry. F the Cowboys, and in no way are they America's team in my honest opinion. Douchebags...

3) This one was tough... it is a tie between Manchester United and Everton FC (EPL) - Holy cow do I ever hate these teams. They make my blood boil... First off, Manchester United is WAY WAY WAY overrated. No way do they deserve as much credit and fame as they get. B.S. if you ask me. Total B.S. They have ONE good player, Ronaldo, and even he isn't all that great. Mostly just a pretty boy twink. Plus, this is another team that just seems to attract controversy... ugh, what was it about that rape case at a ManU. party???? Losers. And Everton, don't even get me started. These assholes... sheesh. They are the archnemisis rivals of my Liverpool FC. Not only that, but they play in what SHOULD have been Liverpool's stadium. Yeah yeah, they are the older team and all, seniority, F it! Liverpool ain't big enough for the two of em... And with the playing fields only being a mile apart, Everton's blood on the minds of many fans of the Reds. ANFIELD FOREVER. Oh, and ManU... how about that embarressing loss to us a few weeks back??? HAHAHAHA, suckas!

2) The Minnesota Vikings (NFL) - These guys... these guys I hate with true passion and ferver. Purple... what a stupid team color. It makes me sick that my alma mater shares the same colors as these fools from Minnesota. And it really pisses me off that I share the great Hebrew name "Jared" with one of their players (Jared Allen). Blah on that guy! And his jersey number, 69, geezz.. who does he think he is! This team is mostly hated for the fact that they are rivals of the Monsters of the Midway, the great, one and only, Chicago F'n Bears!!! In a previous era, The Bears would easily shred through the crap-kicking Vikings, but it seems, as of late, the Vikings have the Bears' asses under their supreme control. THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!! The Vikings need a good, old-fashioned, Midwest smack down from the windy city. I might lose my mind if another season goes by where the Vikings are atop the NFC north... seriously... LOSE MY MIND!!!! Vikings, I hate you.

...and the number 1 team that I love to HATE...

1) The New York Yankees (MLB) - This is definitely not a shocker I'm sure, as most everyone knows I despise the pinstripes with so much angst and hatred that I make it my mission to look for every flaw there is with the Yanks. So many reasons... first off, and this compares to that of ManU. and The Cowboys, the sheer arrogance this team and its owners has makes me want to puke up my lunch. They toss around money like it grows on trees and overpay players who are no where near deserving. This only further inflates their already massive egos. Also, they condone hiring and honoring players like A-Rod, and Roger Clemmens, and (until this year) Jason Giambi... players who are known to have had checkered pasts regarding steroid use. I can't stand the media buzz that floats around the NYY as well... IF the Yanks don't get 95 wins in a season, you would think the world has exploded by the amount of media coverage spouting shit like "Have the Yanks lost their magic?" Geezzz.. even if they win 85 games, which is good by almost all other club's standards, it's not good enough for the Yankees. Jeter sucks. Steinbrenner can eat my shit. The New Yankee Stadium is stupid. Hmmmm... am I forgetting anything??? Oh yeah, the YES network blows. Oh yeah... GO RED SOX!!!!!!!!!

Dice-K and Japan win the WBC.... again!

So, at first, I was upset about the fact that team USA didn't make it to the final, losing to the defending champions, Japan. Even if USA would have beat Japan in the semis, I don't know how they would hold up against Korea, who seemed amazing this year. Anyway... in the end, I was actually happy to see Japan win, but mostly because Daisuke Matsuzaka was once again, the MVP of the World Baseball Classic. This sits well with me, him being a Red Sox starter and all. I see greatness in his future with the Sox. I mean, my most standards, Dice-K has already proven himself as a great pitcher on many occassions, but I think that his standards and those of the AL East and Red Sox, are generally higher. I am hoping for another great year on-top the Boston pitcher's mound, not just from Dice-K, but from the entire pitching staff and bullpen. With solid starts from Beckett all Spring long, and Dice-K winning the classic, and Lester and Pap both getting extensions, I think things are set for another great year. Some of the question marks though.... Wakefield and the elusive fifth starter????? Will it be Bucholz, Penny, or (eventually) Smoltz???? It has got to be one of those 3 guys... I can't imagine they would move Masterson, but who knows... Anyway... Congrats to team Japan and congrats to Dice-K for being the ONLY champtions in World Baseball Classic history.

Washburn's Top 5 of the Day

The Top 5 Muppets in this Humble Blogger's Opinion Which is of No Consequence At All:

5) Gonzo - OK... I think a lot of people would have Kermit as their number one, but if not, they might have Gonzo... well, not me. Gonzo is #5 for me. Personally, I like weird things, but Gonzo might just be too weird. First off, what is his purpose??? Is he a super-hero? A dare-devil? He is always getting shot out of cannons and stuff... I don't know, but it must of had some serious psychological effects, because Gonzo is a nut job. The reason he made my list though, is because he makes me laugh SO much! The guy is hilarious. Plus... that Nose! Gonzo has one of the most recognizable noses of all time. How can you forget that nose!? Unique, definitely. Hilarious, obviously. Gonzo, here's to you for making my list.

4) Beaker - This guy cracks me up. There isn't anything really specail about him, and really, I feel kind of bad for him most of the time. Beaker was Dr. Bunsen's unfortunate, illiterate, test-dumby. All of the failed experiments that back-fired fell on the sore shoulders of Beaker. Beaker was also slightly deformed, having a....well...beaker shaped head. What cracked me up so much was the way he talked... It really can't be described. But it is hilarious. Beaker, if you were real and didn't just exisit in the world of Muppets, I would so be your friend. Plus, you should totally stand up for yourself and not let that nut-job mad scientist Bunsen make you drink weird concoctions, or hook you up to some high-voltage electro magnetic machine... tell him to use poor, unsuspecting, cute animals instead.

3) Kermit the Frog - Henson's most famous character is the green guy that everyone knows and loves. Kermit has everything you could want in te perfect Muppet. So why #3? Kermit comes in at #3 for me because I think he lacks something that my #2 and #1 muppets have... BALLS. So, to Kermitt: Kermit, I like you so much, you are witty, and you are kind to your friends, and you have a funny voice, but you have no balls, man! You let that ho, Miss Piggy abuse you and yell at you and embaress you in front of your male friends. She is too manipulative, you have GOT to realize that. Your awesomeness can only be balanced so much by this flaw that makes me want to punch you. This is why you are in the middle of the pack, my friend. If only you could be more like Fozzie, he gets embarressed but has the balls to deal with it. Why you let Miss Piggy ruin you like that is beyond me... plus, it is obvious that you don't love her, I mean, why else has she remained MISS Piggy. She never became Mrs. Frog. Get with it man, you could do so much better.

2) Fozzie Bear - Although this lovable teddy was truly a stand-up comic failure, he never gave up trying to be the funny guy that deep-down, he knew he was. I think I used to laugh at Fozzie's stupid jokes, mostly because everyone else made fun of him and threw trash (or as they say in England, rubbish) at him. But now, I see that maybe all that hazing and ridicule had an emotionally damaging effect on poor Fozzie. He tried to tough it out and act like the "haters" didn't faze him, but no one can withstand that much rejection and truly be happy. The one character who always did have Fozzie's back was Kermitt. Fozzie really was like the green guy's #2 on the show. So, why not have him as my #2 as well. Fozzie, keep on makin em laugh!

...and the number 1 Muppet is...

1) Animal - "Why?" you may ask... well, duh. Because he, like so many of the greats in this world, is a drummer. Not just any drummer, either. He is probably the most furiously frenzied drummer I have ever seen!? He might even put Keith Moon to shame with the amounts of energy and pure craziness he displays behind the kit. Animal is the drummer for the Muppet rock band called Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Pretty sweet band name, if you ask me. Animal had the the coolest way of dealing with problems... his classic line, "No, NO! Animal beat drums! BEAT DRUMS!!!!" Simple and yet, elegant. I think Animal speaks for all drummers. He is a beast, hence the perfect name... Animal. He is so metal... seriously, check out the heavy metal chain hanging from his neck... I'm not totally sure, but Animal may have been the example from which all those glam rock hair bands of the 80's based their image. Seriously... he looks like he has used quite a bit of Aqua Net on that mane of his...

Reflectiveness....

::sigh::